Who would have thought a column of fire slowly moving in your direction could be in any way calming?

H/T to Sploid

The sound this massive match bomb makes is kind of a wind-through-the-trees thing, mixed with one of those Calming Ocean Sounds™ relaxation tapes, and the white noise machine in your therapist’s office. Mmmm, just like a campfire, but for some incredibly dangerous reason, it’s indoors.