More Than You Care to Know About Rachel Dolezal – The White, Black Chick

So guess what? It’s okay to call Rachel Dolezal a lying bitch because she’s white. Why, that lying bitch!! See? Still got my job, my career, my standing in society. But only because she’s white. If she really WAS black and anyone said those things, well, you know what you’d be: A RACIST!!

(In case you’ve been living under a rock, Rachel Dolezal is the NAACP leader in Spokane who had to resign because she wasn’t really black)

Not only is Rachel Dolezal a lying turd – she’s also a slut, racist and plagiarist. Hah! Still got my job, beyatch! Haven’t been shamed by the media, neither!

IN YOUR FACE,  Rev. Al Sharpton!! She’s white and that means you don’t give a hoot!

According to her art blog, Dolezal is ‘an award-winning Mixed Media Artist,’ but here’s one of her creations below and below that – a painting from the year 1840:

Pretty sure she wasn’t even born then, but who knows – we really would have to have a birth certificate… wait – WE DO!

Both her parents are white!!! ? WTF?

Dolezal’s blackness went unchallenged for years until her RACIST parents said they identified with being Czech and German… Because their “ancestry” is Czech and German. What a load… How do you spell “Hhmmmff!?”

Her so-called “white” parents say she distanced herself from the family because she didn’t want them to ‘blow her cover’.

Why, that lying, theiving whore!! … Hey – NAACP, Al Sharpton, Eric Holder – didn’t you see what I just wrote?… Aren’t you going to riot or something? ..oh yeah, she’s white. Never mind prosecuting me or leveling any sort of hate crime action against me. Don’t even bother with my bosses – they’re encouraging me to write this post. In fact, I may sue THEM for racism!! … wait, I’m white too. Never mind..

Well I guess everything I’ve said about her is true and the Reverend Jesse Jackson won’t be over here shakin’ my ass down any time soon.

But I did call her a lying, racist, bitch, whore and that last thing may be out of line, because… OH, NO YOU DI-INT!!


AND… There’s a sex tape out there, apparently. But Rachel says her boyfriend / husband / brother-from-another-race-mother (WHO ALSO CLAIMS TO BE BLACK!!!) forced her into it.

Denial: In court papers Dolezal claimed that she was in an abusive marriage with Kevin Moore. Moore has denied the claims but she said she had evidence:  'Video tape made at the request of the defendant which required the plaintiff to participate in sexual acts with the defendant on tape against the plaintiff's desires'

HAH! That guy is about as black as me…. well, okay – he may be black. But Tiger Woods is half-black and I’m not backing off that. But I digress..

Sure, Rachel admitted participating in the ‘sexual acts’ on camera with Kevin Moore, but that doesn’t mean she’s white or something crazy like her not being black or… ugh.

He looks okay to me. Her parents here at the wedding seem like they’re not afraid of getting jacked or anything.

Wedding day: Dolezal and Moore got married in 2000 but the couple split up just five years later

She is so black I can’t even stand it. Black as night, that Rachel Dolezal… Almost said the N-word just now, she’s so frickin’ dark.

Back to the sex tape: The nice black man says he’s a Christian and her accusations of sexual abuse were just to deny him access to their young son Franklin. .. wait – what?


Please tell me that’s a joke and not just a mom who grew up reading “Peanuts” cartoons..

However, Dolezal still insists she took part in the video against her will. “A big black man made me do it. He was so scary, I had to do it. Who knows what that black dude would do if I refused to have sex on video so the whole world could see my white ass?”

But wait – there’s more!

Even though she says she’s black, she sued Howard University for discriminating against her because she’s white. That’s all you need to know on that. She lost. Because she’s black, no doubt. You know how Howard U feels about blacks. .. wait. Oh, forget it. And speaking of O.J. Simpson, today is the anniversary of he and AC cruising down the 405 in LA with a police … um, escort.

I guess Rachel Dolezal wrote a song about OJ and the white Bronco: “If you wanna ride, you ride the white horse..” or something like that.

Anway, is it me or does Khloe Kardashian look like her father is is probably not Robert Kardashian, but in fact O.J. Simpson?

That would make her black, ‘ya know! Half-black, but more black than Obama. He’s about 1/4 black I guess – which is WAAAAAAY more black than Rachel Dolezal!

By the way, Kim Kardashian apparently identifies with being a camel. Just sayin’…

But it’s good to know when it comes to dating, Rachel Dolezal does NOT discriminate.

According to the Daily Mail; Rachel Dolezal wept as she described how reading Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair article made her cry because the reality star’s story of isolation ‘resonated’ with her. .. ‘Even in dating relationships – I’m bisexual, I’ve dated men and women – I will intentionally ask, “so do you just date light-skinned women? What’s your spectrum?”‘

So that’s good I guess. Is it? But…. you knew there was going to be a “but”:

This from Mediaite:

Remember the furor back in 2014 over the casting of white actors to play ancient Egyptians in the movie Exodus: Gods and Kings? Well one activist who called for a boycott of the film was none other than Rachel Dolezal, the former Spokane NAACP official who was revealed last week to have been a white woman lying about being black. 

Dolezal made the comments during an interview with local Spokane radio station KYRS. “You have white, European actors playing North African historical figures, like they were in the ’30s and the ’40s,” complained host Taylor Weech. “A lot of people might go to the film. Hopefully nobody goes to that film,” Dolezal said.

“We need to boycott that film from my perspective…” Dolezal denounced the film as “miseducation [sic],” “misrepresentation,” and “highly offensive” to ancient Egyptians. “And also to people today,” she continued, “it’s robbing and shredding ancestry and history.”

Racist bitch!!!… sorry – Racist White Bitch!! … whew, almost forgot to save my job there.

Of course, maybe I’m being a little rough on her – what with calling her a racist and all. Sorry, but I’m just… wait – what?

Screen Shot 2015-06-17 at 9.36.08 AM

Crap… Here she is on stage with guys in full witch-doctor regalia. She seems okay with the whole ‘robbing & shredding’ Mandingo deal.

She really should listen to someone with a little more experience in blackface, don’t ya’ think?

Never go full retard, Rachel..

BUT – if you REALLY want to pass the African-American test – you gotta go right to the source: Whoopi!

Whoopi Goldberg asks if a man can sincerely feel like he’s a woman, why can’t Rachel Dolezal sincerely feel like she’s black?

Well, Whoopi, you can stick a branch in your eye – it doesn’t make you a tree. You can even paste leaves on your chest and change your name to “Oak” – you still ain’t a tree, honey. You can call yourself “Goldberg’ but it doesn… wait. Bad example. Now THAT could affect my employment status.

Of course, Whoopi has been identifying as someone with talent for the past 30 years..

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